The Best New Year’s Resolution Ever
by Bappy Golder
As the new year rolls out we start to hear the phrase “New Year’s resolution” a lot. 2014 was a very special year. In the New Year 2015 I started to wonder what my new year’s resolution could be. After a bit of thought I came up with the best resolution ever. Before I talk about it though, here are a few of my old goals in general (in no particular order):
The list goes on. . .
That’s a lot. I am often trying to do some of them, and as you have probably guessed, they do not always work as planned.
The coming of the new year makes us think about setting and achieving goals. Setting goals has been a long term habit of mine and it has brought me a lot of benefit.
Lately however, I have been experimenting with a new philosophy: not having any goals. So, my new year’s resolution for this year is to have no resolution at all.
- Meditate
- Write blogs more regularly
- Make a learning routine (of new technologies)
- Start a profitable online/tech business
- Make a time budget (include more family time and regular breaks)
- Start to live more mindfully everyday
- Exercise regularly
- Reduce my use of mobile phones
- De-clutter my living and working space
- Keep on top of my emails
- Have some quiet time every day to do absolutely nothing
- Write to all my good friends
The list goes on. . .
That’s a lot. I am often trying to do some of them, and as you have probably guessed, they do not always work as planned.
The coming of the new year makes us think about setting and achieving goals. Setting goals has been a long term habit of mine and it has brought me a lot of benefit.
Lately however, I have been experimenting with a new philosophy: not having any goals. So, my new year’s resolution for this year is to have no resolution at all.
Why having no resolution can be helpful
It may sound odd, but the idea of having no goal or no resolution is very liberating. When practiced properly, it can be relaxing, satisfying, and you can still achieve things quite well.
This might sound counter-intuitive. However, the fact of having no goas does not mean we do not have any passion. We can still have a passion for healthy food, exercise or for developing a new habit. We still aim for those things, except now we are motivated by passion.
If we do something passionately, we are more mindful about our actions. Doing something mindfully can produce a very fulfilling result. On the other hand, having no goal allows us to be kind and compassionate to ourselves when we fail. In fact, we start to realize there is no failure if we miss a goal, because we are not comparing any of our achievements to someone or something. We have no goals to meet, no check boxes to tick. We only do what we can, and we do it passionately because we love it.
This might sound counter-intuitive. However, the fact of having no goas does not mean we do not have any passion. We can still have a passion for healthy food, exercise or for developing a new habit. We still aim for those things, except now we are motivated by passion.
If we do something passionately, we are more mindful about our actions. Doing something mindfully can produce a very fulfilling result. On the other hand, having no goal allows us to be kind and compassionate to ourselves when we fail. In fact, we start to realize there is no failure if we miss a goal, because we are not comparing any of our achievements to someone or something. We have no goals to meet, no check boxes to tick. We only do what we can, and we do it passionately because we love it.
No goals in action
We do not always reach all of our goals regardless of how much we try. Unpredictable events get in the way. Binding ourselves to deadlines can sometimes have a negative result. For example, if you are on a diet and you impulsively break it one evening, You might end up saying to yourself, “I’ve already broken the promise, now I might as well indulge for the rest of day/week”.
On the other hand, if you have no goals and you were passionate and mindful about your diet, you can be more forgiving to yourself in the event you eat something you regret. If you fail once, there is nothing to lose, no one to blame. You just pick yourself back up again and try to be mindful again next time.
I recently asked a good friend of mine a question: if he had just one piece of advice for me, what it would be. His answer was fascinating; he said, “Just relax”. I thought that was such a good advice to have for my highly scheduled goal oriented routine, which he knew well. It made me think. We could all do with a bit more relaxing and be kind to ourselves when we do not meet deadlines.
On the subject of no set goal, my recent experience has something to say. On a road trip in November last year, I travelled for two weeks in our converted camper between Adelaide and Melbourne with my family. We had some planned stopovers and the rest were largely unplanned. We did not know where we were going to stop for those nights. Interestingly enough, every single night provided us with a great opportunity to explore a new an unknown camping spot (or stop over) that we never knew existed. I think having no goal is just like that. Every journey is a new opportunity for an unknown yet exciting exploration.
On the other hand, if you have no goals and you were passionate and mindful about your diet, you can be more forgiving to yourself in the event you eat something you regret. If you fail once, there is nothing to lose, no one to blame. You just pick yourself back up again and try to be mindful again next time.
I recently asked a good friend of mine a question: if he had just one piece of advice for me, what it would be. His answer was fascinating; he said, “Just relax”. I thought that was such a good advice to have for my highly scheduled goal oriented routine, which he knew well. It made me think. We could all do with a bit more relaxing and be kind to ourselves when we do not meet deadlines.
On the subject of no set goal, my recent experience has something to say. On a road trip in November last year, I travelled for two weeks in our converted camper between Adelaide and Melbourne with my family. We had some planned stopovers and the rest were largely unplanned. We did not know where we were going to stop for those nights. Interestingly enough, every single night provided us with a great opportunity to explore a new an unknown camping spot (or stop over) that we never knew existed. I think having no goal is just like that. Every journey is a new opportunity for an unknown yet exciting exploration.
Replacing goals with passion and compassion
We are surrounded by the demands of deadlines and goals. We get deadlines from our work, family, relatives, neighbours, schools and many others. The most important person we can prevent from applying pressure and deadlines to us is our very own self.
A no goal approach replaces goals and resolutions with passion and compassion. If we are passionate about something, we can improve on it with or without any goals. I recently finished a long WordPress course in just a couple of days. I finished my whole track faster than I thought I would. I did not have any goal or a deadline. Because I loved the course, I did much more everyday than I would have with a set goal.
A no goal approach replaces goals and resolutions with passion and compassion. If we are passionate about something, we can improve on it with or without any goals. I recently finished a long WordPress course in just a couple of days. I finished my whole track faster than I thought I would. I did not have any goal or a deadline. Because I loved the course, I did much more everyday than I would have with a set goal.
A few goals at a time
It might be hard to throw away all our goals and to-do lists. I continue to use my reminders, but I barely look at my to-do lists these days (lists which have become quite long over the years).
For a while, I have been starting my day with a blank piece of paper. A new page in an exercise book every day, and I write down a few things I need to do for that day. I write them from memory. Most days I do not get through them all. When I start again the next day, I begin with whatever I can remember. Surprisingly, if something is important enough it seems to stick in the mind. Using this way I have many days without even having to use a paper notes.
I often get interrupted throughout the day with phone calls and other events, meaning I do not always get to finish what I wanted to. I am learning to be OK with that. I am finding that fewer goals are better than many, and no goal is even better. I think this is a good starting point for a no goal no resolution mindset.
For a while, I have been starting my day with a blank piece of paper. A new page in an exercise book every day, and I write down a few things I need to do for that day. I write them from memory. Most days I do not get through them all. When I start again the next day, I begin with whatever I can remember. Surprisingly, if something is important enough it seems to stick in the mind. Using this way I have many days without even having to use a paper notes.
I often get interrupted throughout the day with phone calls and other events, meaning I do not always get to finish what I wanted to. I am learning to be OK with that. I am finding that fewer goals are better than many, and no goal is even better. I think this is a good starting point for a no goal no resolution mindset.
Lastly
Sometimes setting ourselves up with a goal can be good, but many times we set ourselves up for a failure this way. Goals limited by an artificial time line are not always natural for our ability. If we replace our goals with passion and good habits, we can get a permanent motivation to achieve something no matter how many times we have to stop or fail.
It is probably impossible to have absolutely zero goals. However, most of us can probably do with one less goal and one more opportunity left for an exhilarating spontaneous adventure that is unplanned and unknown.
Whether it is with a goal or without, I hope your year ahead takes you somewhere exciting.
Happy 2015.
It is probably impossible to have absolutely zero goals. However, most of us can probably do with one less goal and one more opportunity left for an exhilarating spontaneous adventure that is unplanned and unknown.
Whether it is with a goal or without, I hope your year ahead takes you somewhere exciting.
Happy 2015.
“I don't have a goal, because existence has no goal. It simply is, flowering, blossoming, dancing - but don't ask why. Just an overflow of energy, for no reason at all. I am with existence. ”
- B. S. Rajneesh
- B. S. Rajneesh
